Sporadically Sandra

(AKA: How to tell it is time to move on to Week 2 of C25K)

So yesterday I did Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5K. Which, for those of you who don't know, you do a five minute warm up walk and a five minute cool down walk with 1 minute of running and 1.5 minutes of walking in between (for a total cycle of 9 runs). In total this takes 31 minutes. In theory it sounds relatively easy, until you consider the fact that actual running for a minute over and over again is rather hard.

Way #1 I am Crazy: After two runs, I think "Hmm, sort of easy" and I bump up the incline.

Way #2 I am Crazy: With two runs left, I think "Hmm, still sort of easy" and I bump up the speed.

Way #3 I am Crazy: As the last cool down nears I start thinking, "I could keep going if I had the time."

Day 1: I feel like dying.

Day 3: Hm, bored, I will keep kicking it up a notch.

I didn't even want to go to the gym that day. I had talked myself out of it because I needed to run by Hobby Lobby (still do) and Walmart and you know, anything else I could think of to get out of it. I didn't feel well, allergies were starting to hit after all. Then, some switch in my brain flipped and I decided, "Nope, I'm going to at least try." I mean, if I didn't feel well enough to finish, that's cool, but I could at least put forth my effort. And not only did I put forth the effort, I freaking KILLED it.

I can't wait for Week 2 Day 1 to kill me next week!

1/4 cup Kosher Salt
1 t Sugar

Chicken:
4 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, pounded to same thickness and brined for 20 minutes
1 Egg
1/3 cup Flour
Salt & Pepper
Other Seasonings to Taste

Whisk one egg with 1 T water. Dip rinsed and dried chicken breasts into egg wash before dredging in flour salt and pepper (and other seasonings to taste).

Lay chicken breasts on cooling rack for 10 minutes. (This is KEY)

Heat oil in cast iron skillet and pre-heat oven to 350. Once oil is hot, cook chicken until browned on both sides and no longer trying to stick to the pan (and if it gets a little blackened, that is delicious also!).

Stick into oven and let it finish cooking, 10-15 minutes.

Mashed Potatoes 2 P+:
Ingredients:
2 oz potato per person
Equal amount of cauliflower as potato
Skim Milk
Land o Lakes Butter
S&P

Dice potato and boil over high until soft. While the potatoes cook, cut cauliflower into florets and cook until soft. Mix potatoes and cauliflower with milk, butter and S&P until it reaches the desired creaminess.

The gravy is just a mixture of cornstarch, chicken stock and better than bullion.

*Recipe kindly provided by my mom*

Every previous time I've ever tried to lose weight, I always had a plethora of excuses of why I couldn't exercise, why I couldn't eat correctly, why I just couldn't do it.

Excuse 1: "I can't work out after I eat"

I'm sorry, come again? How many times have I let the excuse of not being able to get to take a lunch break early enough to work out before I'm hungry stop me from working out? I mean, it isn't Rocket Science, Sandra, eat and work out an hour or so later. Why would I waste a whole day because I can't eat before I work out.

Excuse 2: "I already screwed up, I will just start again next week"

That makes a ton of sense, I've screwed my eating for one day, so why don't I just really screw over the whole week? Perhaps, if I screw up one meal, I should make sure to bring it back to healthy on the next meal. Does that just make too much sense? Is that why I use to eat one bad meal and let it ruin the whole week?

Excuse 3: "I can't do what I planned, so I won't do anything"

Seriously? Does this make sense to anyone? So I can't use the eliptical, can I still do a push up? a squat? walk in circles? Variety is the spice of life, so why don't I just mix it up if my plans go awry.

Excuse 4: "My meal tastes horrible!"

Well, guess what, that is no excuse to order pizza! There is a subway right up the road, suck it up and be good!

So, needless to say that I am good at coming up with excuses, but what about now? I'm finally coming around to the ridiculous excuses that I use to hold myself back. If I have a bad meal, I move on, I go back to eating heathily. If I can't work out before I eat, I eat earlier and give myself some time to process my food before I eat. If I can't do what I wanted to do exercise wise, I figure out something else! Why have I let stupid excuses keep me from attaining what I want? If I'm smart enough to figure out how to be bad, why am I stupid enough to not just be smarter to begin with?

Mentally, I've changed how I look at weightloss. I've changed the foods I eat, how I enjoy them and how I move my body. I've come to realize that I am my own worst enemy but I can also be my most supportive person. I'm done with allowing myself to have stupid excuses and hating what I see in the mirror

Joseph and I were going through some old clothes to determine which to keep and which to give to Goodwill.  These clothes were all super old, before I had gained any weight, when I wore medium shirts and my pants were in the single digits.

Clothes from when I thought I was "fat".

It makes me sad to look at those tiny clothes and remember how badly I felt about myself. I mean, it doesn't help that all through high school I was best friends with girls who were natural size ones (if not zeros), so in comparision, it is easy to feel big.

I just really wish I would have believed people when they told me I wasn't fat. I wish I could have seen my body for what it was instead of feeling like I never measured up. I would love to get back to that size I was before, but, if I don't learn to love my body and myself, it won't matter what size I wear.

I've had an obsession for the past week that I need a cute kitchen apron. I don't realy have a cute apron and how is a girl supposed to get her bake on without an apron?

My 2nd anniversary is coming up and Joseph is super traditional about gifts. We did paper gifts the first year and this year is cotton, so I figure a cute apron would be perfect, right?

Who doesn't want a cute Owl Apron?
Or a chic black and white one?
A Snow White Apron?
Or a ridiculously cute, frilly, cupcake apron?
I'm just sayin' *this* girl needs cute aprons.

My outsides look cool, my insides are blue
Every time I think I'm through it's because of you
I've tried different ways but it's all the same
At the end of the day I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'


You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if you say so
You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
Yeah, I'll make you feel unpretty too

How is it music can always give me insight to how I truly feel. I mean, ignore the fact that "unpretty" is not actually a word and the fact that I think this song is actually directed to another person.

I don't think it would be a stretch to say that often people are their own worst enemies, especially for females. I don't know how many times I've looked in the mirror and zeroed in on everything I felt was wrong with my appearance, things that noone else can see. Every blemish, spot, crease, wrinkle; they all just jump out at me, screaming "Ugly".

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I do this to myself? I'm a smart, nice, young lady with great hair and a birthmark in my eye. I'm funny, patient, thoughtful, kind and other people think I'm beautiful. So, why is all I see in the mirror a body too big and a face too broken out? Why can't I see what Joseph sees? Or my family?

A big part of why I want to lose weight is so that I gain confidence in how I look, but I need to gain confidence in me or else I will always see what is wrong with me instead of what is right.

And because my thoughts towards myself are so ugly, it leads to ugly thoughts toward others. And, I'm not that person. I want to see the beauty in everyone, whether it is their laugh or their hair or the fact that they are the funniest person I know. I used to be a negative person and I've changed so much from that person and now I want to shine from the inside out. I want my thoughts about myself and others to be healthy just as I want my body to be healthy.

Who are you most thankful for?
Wow, what a doozy of a question. It's easy to see how blessed I am because I can not figure out how to shorten my list of who I'm thankful for. So, I'm going to highlight 3 to keep it short..

1. My Parents

Besides being thankful for giving me life, they are just truly amazing people. Kind, generous, fun, are just a few of the ways they could be described. When I'm sick, my mom brings me soup. When the alternator in the Mountaineer goes out, my dad not only buys a new one, but he puts it in. Their love for me and the people around them is obvious in how they live their life in their actions and their words. Their house is always open to me, as is their kitchen. If they can help me or give me something they need, they do it with no hesitation. They have helped mould me into the person I am today and I think they did a great job.

2. Joseph

To think that just over 5 years ago I didn't even know him is bizarre. He is my best friend, my favorite person. He is one of the few people in my life that I feel just as comfortable talking to him about everything as I do just being silent. He is so amazing to me and he treats me so well. He does the chores I hate doing (and some of them he actually enjoys!) and he picks up the slack when I'm too depressed to want to do anything. He knows how to make me laugh when I'm upset and he honestly gives the best hugs. In a million years I would never have expected to be blessed with someone like him. I don't know how I was so lucky to have him fall in love with me, but I'm happy and thankful that he did. I don't know who I would be if he weren't in my life and I don't want to know.

3. Sarah (Bffl)

Sarah is probably one of the most amazing females I know and I've known her since high school. She is such a strong person. She has gone through things that I would never want to go through and it has only made her a better person. Her family is beautiful and wonderful and I love seeing them and I'm so happy she has been blessed with them. She is my best friend but she is more like family. She is such a positive, beautiful, smart person and she deserves so much in life. We hardly get to hang out, but when we do it is ridiculously fun and when we don't I miss her. I was her maid of honor and she was my matron of honor and I'm glad to say I made her cry at my wedding just as much as I cried at hers. I love her.

To everyone else:

Honestly, if you are in my life, I'm thankful for you. Sometimes I don't always get along with the people in my life, and I don't always like them, but I always love them and I know I learn from them. I'm blessed for all the people in my life and I don't want to lose a single one. I'm constantly motivated and inspired by the people around me, even if they don't realize how amazing they are. I could write pages including every single person that I am thankful for, but my fingers would fall off and blogger would probably kick me off their site for taking up too much space.