Sporadically Sandra

Inspired by the love of all thing cupcakes (hello easy serving size) and my love of fatty buffalo wings, I wanted to come up with a nice swap for football Sunday! These did not just pass my taste test, but my husband's, sister in law's and brother in law's.

24 Won Ton Wrappers
Hot Sauce to taste
Ranch to taste
3/4 lb shredded chicken
3 Garlic & Herb Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges
3/4 cup Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Pre-heat oven to 375.

Mix ranch and hot sauce with chicken until satisfied with creamy/hot taste.

Spray a 12 cup Muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray. Press a won ton wrapper into each cup. Divide 1.5 laughing cow wedges among the cups and top with half the shredded chicken.
Add another won ton wrapper in each cup, pressing down firmly. Add a dab of ranch and the remainder of the laughing cow cheese and shredded chicken. Top with cheddar cheese.

Bake for 15 minutes or until cheese is melted and won ton wrappers are browned.

This effected my life in so many ways. It screwed up my view of men and relationships. I didn't date again until I was 18 and even then it was a huge and scary step for me. It screwed up friendships. It screwed me up. It still screws me up at times. I can't stand his name, the school he went to or the fraternity he was a part of because it all puts me back at that time.

But, I learned so much and I truly believe this helped me become a better person. Even though I won't ever forget, I learned to forgive him. I pray that one day he realizes how much what he did really hurt and violated me, but I know I'm not his only victim and I know he hasn't learned.

I, however, learned a lot. I learned that I am a strong person. I'm compassionate. I'm a forgiver. I learned how I channel pain which taught me that I can actually write creatively (which might be my favorite part of all)

What's amazing though, is how much I learned while writing this. Writing out everything was so therapeutic. For the first time, Joseph learned everything I had gone through. Putting myself out there that much, sharing one of the most painful parts of my life, was scary but it was amazing. I know that I got a couple of comments about how it may not nice to put this or that out there, but none of this was meant to be a personal attack on anyone, whether it be A or a bad friend or anyone else, it was simply to write my story- to get it out there.

What I went through sucked and it was traumatizing. But, it doesn't define who I am, or my attitude towards people. I'm a better person because of what I've been through.

So, I've blogged my way to 100 posts. What have I learned?

1. I am so much more than a number
2. I love running although I never imagined I could excel at it
3. It's okay to not be passionate about your job, as long as you make time for what you are passionate about
4. Eating correctly fixes more than just your waistline
5. I am beautiful, inside and out

One of the biggest things I've overcome though, is being shy about my writing. I post each link to a new blog post on my facebook, forcing me outside of my own comfort shell. The compliments and kind words I've received from this have been amazing. Some people I hadn't spoken to in years have contacted me because something I've said mattered to them. I was so self conscious about my own writing, that I could have never imagined that someone could read what I wrote and take something away from it.

I've learned so much since I started to really blog. I've learned about myself, my feelings and how other people see me. I've learned that I do have something to say and people do care. I've learned that as hard as it can be, I really enjoy working to better myself and I hope that doesn't change any time soon.

So, here's to another 100 posts where I will wrap up my stalking series, cover a couple of fall crafts I've completed, and get to wax on about my love of the holidays.

1. Losing someone I'm close too - I think this one is pretty self explanatory. My worst fear is losing someone I'm close too without warning or before I'm ready. However, it's a part of life and I know I can't avoid it always.

2. Spiders - 8 legged little devils

3. Flying - like in a plane. If I could flap my arms and fly, I'd be okay with that

4. Tornadoes - I've never been in one but the thought scares the bejeesus out of me. You better believe when those warning sirens go off, my stomach drops.

5. Looking foolish in front of people - I have this tendency to replay "embarrassing" moments in my head on a constant torment wheel of memories, things no one else would even remember. It can be almost paralyzing, but I'm working on it.

6. Growing Old without Purpose- I don't ever want to look back on my life and feel I've wasted it. I work hard to grow and become a better person. I want to touch people's lives. I want to enjoy my life. I want to live a fulfilled life.

7. Losing my Engagement/Wedding Band (Other valuable jewelry) - There was one day recently where I went to get my rings out of the jewelry box and they weren't there. I instantly went into panic mode as I tried to figure out where they would be. Turns out, Joe had put them on the keyring to remember to bring them to me the day before because I had forgotten to wear them. He is sweet, even if it is his fault it scared the crap out of me.

8. Being alone at night - I'm a big girl, so I don't like the fear control me. But, man oh man, I don't dig being home alone at night. You better believe that every thing that goes bump in the night is an intruder trying to kill me and I can visualize it, oh so well.

I'm a bit late on these, but the start of September was hectic and then I just got lazy.

1. Run/Walk/Jog 20 miles - I completed this in August so I would like to try and accomplish it again in September. As a sort of side goal, I would also like to dedicate at least two running days to going 3.1 miles (aka a 5K)

2. Finish reading my self-improvement book - I figure I should be able to at least FINISH the book this month since it has already been started.

3. Figure out a solid strength training routine for me. I've got Cardio down pat, but when it comes to weights and strength, I don't have a clue. I'm going to enlist Joseph's help for this and I'm going to try to implement it a couple of days a week.

That's it, three goals. I know I'll be able to accomplish them as long as I don't forget about them or get distracted.