Sporadically Sandra

So, I've blogged my way to 100 posts. What have I learned?

1. I am so much more than a number
2. I love running although I never imagined I could excel at it
3. It's okay to not be passionate about your job, as long as you make time for what you are passionate about
4. Eating correctly fixes more than just your waistline
5. I am beautiful, inside and out

One of the biggest things I've overcome though, is being shy about my writing. I post each link to a new blog post on my facebook, forcing me outside of my own comfort shell. The compliments and kind words I've received from this have been amazing. Some people I hadn't spoken to in years have contacted me because something I've said mattered to them. I was so self conscious about my own writing, that I could have never imagined that someone could read what I wrote and take something away from it.

I've learned so much since I started to really blog. I've learned about myself, my feelings and how other people see me. I've learned that I do have something to say and people do care. I've learned that as hard as it can be, I really enjoy working to better myself and I hope that doesn't change any time soon.

So, here's to another 100 posts where I will wrap up my stalking series, cover a couple of fall crafts I've completed, and get to wax on about my love of the holidays.

1. Joseph - my husband, my best friend, my favorite person. He truly takes care of me and treats me like his love. I could go on and on, but I'm going to keep it short.

2. My family - This consists of my mom, dad, sister, nephew, aunt, uncle, cousin and grandma. I adore my family. I love seeing them and spending time with them. They are all awesome and amazing people.

3. My In Laws - I have to say, I am a lucky, lucky girl. I love Joseph's family. I always know that when I see them, I'm going to have a great time. I was very blessed with the in-laws I got, especially since I've read a lot of bad in law stories!

4. My friends - I don't have a lot of close friends, but the ones I have, I know I could trust without a doubt. I'm very friendly, but not every one gets to know the real me. For those that do, they are stuck with me for quite a while.

5. Music - I love music. I think my love of it first started when I took guitar. My guitar teacher was like seven years older then me (?) and had great taste in non "old people" music. He introduced me into some of my favorite bands, which only led me to discovering more bands. Music is so inspiring to me in so many ways.

6. Writing - I love creative writing, I love blogging, I love just documenting my life. My dream job would be to get paid to write stories that other people read. Stories that move people, make them feel or inspire them.

7. Reading - You can't really love writing if you don't love reading and I've loved reading since I learned how. I won two different reading contests when I was younger (and made some money!) because I couldn't keep my nose out of a book. Even now, that can be quite a difficult feat!

8. Cooking - I love cooking. I love creating a new recipe or dish. I love feeding people. I love to eat, which probably is a big reason why I love to cook. If I were more creative, I would probably want to go to culinary school, but most of my creativity is funneled into writing not cooking. And, alas, I can't conquer making Lasagna

9. God - I love God although there are (a lot of) times that I do a horrible time of showing it. I have lots of questions and things I don't understand but I've never questioned my belief in or love of God.

I'm stealing this idea off of Megan's blog, who stole it from someone else. But, it is such a great idea and I'm excited about it. She plans to do it as a weekly challenge, I plan to update it as I feel like it.

I'm going to go ahead and start today with Ten Secrets

1. I learned I was a good writer because of fan fiction. Some how I started reading Degrassi: The Next Generation fan fiction and thought, "This sucks, I can do way better." But, I didn't actually start writing it until I got into Harry Potter fan fiction (Draco/Ginny all the way).

2. Although, I'm not always the best at losing weight and living healthy, I want to one day figure out how to help other people become healthier. I love how I feel when I'm eating right and exercising consistently and I know others could benefit from my first hand knowledge.

3. Even though I used to live alone in an apartment, I am terrified of spending the night alone. On the rare times when Joe is out of town, I will go to my mommy and daddy's house and slumber there. (Except when they all abandon me on the same weekend!)

4. I could watch Psych over and over again. I've seen all the episodes on Netflix, numerous times and watching another one right now. I think partially, it's because Spencer reminds me of my husband and also because the show is funny, no matter how many times you watch it.

5. I'm ridiculously bad at making friends. I'm scared of putting myself out there to people and being let down, but once I make really good friends with someone, they typically stay that way.

6. I always have a story plot in the back of my mind, whether it is something I'm working on or something I have yet to work on. Because so many different plots circle around, I often have a hard time finishing a story because I get excited about the next.

7. I have two birthmarks, neither of which people typically see. One is on my butt, which leads people to think I've sat in something when in a bathing suit (which is why know I only wear skirt or short bottoms) and other is in my eye. It makes me wonder if people are bad at making eye contact or just oblivious.

8. One of my favorite compliments of all time was that I was so good at dancing I could be a black girl. I thought the delivery was funny because it was a black guy who told me and he started it with "Don't be offended." It would be pretty rude of me to be offended by that. I took it as the awesome compliment that it was.

9. If I were at a healthy weight, I would be trying to have a baby right now. But, I want to truly live a healthier life before bringing a child into this world because I want my future kids to grow up with a healthy view of food.

10. I have a twitter. I finally caved. My nearest and dearest know my feelings on twitter which makes that even harder to admit. You can follow me @sbragg87. Although, I have 0 tweets, nor do I know how to use it. Twitter 101, anyone?

I know you see somehow the world will change for me


And be so wonderful
Live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there
And feel so wonderful


I will make you change your mind
These things happen all the time
And It's all real
I'm telling you just how I feel


So, wake-up the members of my nation
It's your time to be
There's no chance unless you take one
Take the time to see the brighter side of every situation


Some things are meant to be
So give your best and leave the rest to me
(Lyrics from iCarly theme show. I don't care who you are, that show is funny)

I remember graduating high school and knowing that I wanted to go to school for psychology. Then I changed it to marketing. Then to Business Administration. Then I decided I couldn't stand going into student loan debt when I couldn't even figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.

It has taken me a long time to realize that I don't have to be passionate about my career. I don't want to be defined by my job. I don't want to be a high powered exec, I don't want to be a Dr or an academic. I just want to be able to follow my passions.

I work so that I can afford to have an enjoyable life. I enjoy it well enough, some days I love it, some days I hate it, but it always ends after I put in my eight hours. I have a great boss and great co-workers and get to deal with some amazing people, but at the end of the day it is only a job. It is not what I'm passionate about.

It's only been in the past few months-year that I've really come to understand that I don't have to adore my job, I don't have to be passionate about it, because what I am passionate about, I can explore on my own time.

I love writing.

I love writing this blog. When I'm stressed about losing weight, I bring it here. When I'm so excited that I can barely contain myself, I get to share it. When I am inspired, I can try to inspire others. It helps me hold myself accountable in the things I want to achieve whether it has to do with eating right, exercising or being a better person.

I love writing original stories. I don't share a lot of how much or what I write because I am so self conscious of it, but I love it. I can sit for hours, putting to paper (or Microsoft Word) the story playing in my head. I'm almost never bored because I am always thinking of what is going to happen next. It's hard work to put what's in my head in words but when it is *just right* it can be so rewarding.

So, I might not be passionate about my work, but I work hard so that I can be passionate about my writing. I refuse to *need* to find immense satisfaction in my job to find satisfaction in my life. I have yet to figure out what I really want to do that could earn me enough money so that I could pay my day to day bills but I've figured out what I really want to do to simply make me happy and that is enough.

Life isn't always about following your passions, most of the time it is about fulfilling the status quo, but it should always involve having enough time to follow your passions.

Who are you most thankful for?
Wow, what a doozy of a question. It's easy to see how blessed I am because I can not figure out how to shorten my list of who I'm thankful for. So, I'm going to highlight 3 to keep it short..

1. My Parents

Besides being thankful for giving me life, they are just truly amazing people. Kind, generous, fun, are just a few of the ways they could be described. When I'm sick, my mom brings me soup. When the alternator in the Mountaineer goes out, my dad not only buys a new one, but he puts it in. Their love for me and the people around them is obvious in how they live their life in their actions and their words. Their house is always open to me, as is their kitchen. If they can help me or give me something they need, they do it with no hesitation. They have helped mould me into the person I am today and I think they did a great job.

2. Joseph

To think that just over 5 years ago I didn't even know him is bizarre. He is my best friend, my favorite person. He is one of the few people in my life that I feel just as comfortable talking to him about everything as I do just being silent. He is so amazing to me and he treats me so well. He does the chores I hate doing (and some of them he actually enjoys!) and he picks up the slack when I'm too depressed to want to do anything. He knows how to make me laugh when I'm upset and he honestly gives the best hugs. In a million years I would never have expected to be blessed with someone like him. I don't know how I was so lucky to have him fall in love with me, but I'm happy and thankful that he did. I don't know who I would be if he weren't in my life and I don't want to know.

3. Sarah (Bffl)

Sarah is probably one of the most amazing females I know and I've known her since high school. She is such a strong person. She has gone through things that I would never want to go through and it has only made her a better person. Her family is beautiful and wonderful and I love seeing them and I'm so happy she has been blessed with them. She is my best friend but she is more like family. She is such a positive, beautiful, smart person and she deserves so much in life. We hardly get to hang out, but when we do it is ridiculously fun and when we don't I miss her. I was her maid of honor and she was my matron of honor and I'm glad to say I made her cry at my wedding just as much as I cried at hers. I love her.

To everyone else:

Honestly, if you are in my life, I'm thankful for you. Sometimes I don't always get along with the people in my life, and I don't always like them, but I always love them and I know I learn from them. I'm blessed for all the people in my life and I don't want to lose a single one. I'm constantly motivated and inspired by the people around me, even if they don't realize how amazing they are. I could write pages including every single person that I am thankful for, but my fingers would fall off and blogger would probably kick me off their site for taking up too much space.

On this day in 1832, author Lewis Carroll was born. His most famous piece of work was Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Who is your favorite character in this book and why?


For years and years, I was traumatized by the Disney Alice in Wonderland. The story of the oyster’s, tweedle dee and tweedle dum, the creepy flamingo croquet sticks; all of it just scared the bejeezus out of me. I remember reading the books when I was younger which made me want to re-watch the movie. Big mistake! The movie still creeped me out.

It was not until a few years ago that I learned to appreciate Alice and the world of Wonderland. I actually found a re-writing online that someone had done, putting the vision of Alice in their own words, Behind Sanity. The story was purely amazing, original and energizing. The old Disney version still skeezes me out but I’ve come to love the new theatrical version that just came out even though I think it changes the story from what it originally was.

My favorite character has never changed, and I’m sure half of the people who know anything about Alice would agree. There is just something about that Cheshire Cat. Is it his smile? The swish of his tail? Or perhaps it is his way with words? His amazing way of speaking in circles but at the same time, hitting the nail on the head?

'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
'I don't much care where —' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat

Throughout all the versions of Alice I have watched or read, he has always been a favorite.
One thing is apparent though, time for me to re-read Alice and her adventures. And, to re-read Behind Sanity

The love of your life is getting married to someone else. In a last-ditch attempt to win the love of your life back, you bust into the wedding and profess your love mid-ceremony. Start your story with the line, "Don't say yes!"


“Don’t say yes,” I blurted out, bursting through the thick French doors at the back of the cathedral. I was out of breath from running across the packed parking lot and up the front steps and heads turned to look at me as I stood there gasping. Sometime during my run, the slit in my dress had ripped and my hair had fallen out of the ponytail I had thrown it up in.

“Don’t say yes,” I repeated more quietly as I tried to straighten my clothes and pat down my messy hair, quickly making my way up the aisle.

“What are you doing here?” Ryan asked confused, stepping down from the pulpit where he had been facing his bride.

“You can’t marry her.”

“Give me a minute,” he said to the pastor as he grabbed my arm and started leading me back down the aisle. “What are you doing here?” Ryan asked me one we had stepped out of the chapel.

“Why are you marrying her?” I asked, running a hand nervously through my hair.

“Why do you care?” Ryan shot back.

“Not even six months ago you were declaring your love for me, talking about marriage.”

“And then you broke up with me.”

I shook my head, “No, I didn’t. I told you I needed time.”

“Time away from me. How was I supposed to take that?”

“No,” I snapped, “No, I needed time.”

“Why? You wouldn’t even tell me why. All you said was you needed time, a break away from me, space.”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“How would you have hurt me?”

“Your father came to me and told me if I didn’t leave you, he would disown you. He told me I would only disappoint and embarrass your family. He promised me that he would make your life a living hell and that you would never see your family again. How could I make you choose between me and your family?”

“How could you take away that choice?”

“You loved your father. Admired him. You thought he hung the moon. How could I do that to you?”

“Then why are you telling me now?”

“Because he died and if I don’t at least let you know that I’m totally and irrevocably in love with you before it’s too late, I would never forgive myself.”

“So you waited until my wedding day?”

I shrugged, not knowing what else to say besides the obvious “yeah”.

“What do you want me to do now?”

“I want you to do whatever you want to do, now that you know everything,” I replied. “I’m sorry I ruined your day.

I turned and hurried down the steps as tears overflowed my eyes. I wiped at my eyes as I made my way back to my car. I slid into the driver’s seat and stuck my keys in the ignition before a sob escaped my throat. I sat in my car, lost in my grief as sobs wracked my body, harder then they ever did after I broke up with Ryan. A small part of me had always hoped that we would somehow work out, but it was clear that wasn’t an option.

I jumped at a knock on my window and I rolled down the window confused, not really understanding what I was looking at. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t marry her.”