Sporadically Sandra

Quite a few people I know have this misconception that to eat healthy you must cut out everything delicious. And, I wouldn't actually care, except if you ask them what they are eating, they sigh, look kind of down and out and with a sigh reply "Oh, just this *bland diet food*. I'm trying to watch my weight."

Well, guess what. Eating healthy can be delicious, versatile, comforting and an adventure for the taste buds. I love eating unhealthy food (clearly) but I also make sure that every "healthy" thing I eat is just as delicious. I eat lots of lean meats, low fat dairies, fresh fruits and vegetables. I get, at a minimum, 6 fruit & vegetable servings a day, 2 dairies, 2-3 servings of lean protein. I drink at least 6 glasses of water a day because I truly love it. And most days, some sort of chocolate enters my body.

All it takes is some creativity and some patience. I've slowly built up a stash of "healthy" and delicious recipes so that I always have recipes I like on the back burner. In addition, I have a healthy stash of blogs that post ridiculously delicious (and sinfully decadent) tasting recipes.

This is a *mostly* accurate picture of what I eat each day. Of course, my breakfast did not taste good (new recipe, boo) so today I had a few extra points for an evening snack.  I also forgot to take a picture of my afternoon snack: romaine lettuce with red onion and Hot Bacon Honey Mustard Dressing (delicious).

Meals pictured: Morning Snack 1 - Cheese Stick, Morning Snack 2 - Banana, Lunch - Santa Fe Chicken Burrito Bowl, Dinner - Bubble Up Enchilada Casserole & Sugar Snap Peas, Evening Snack/Dessert - Dark Hot Chocolate, Nuts & Bolts (Family recipe chex mix), a piece of fudge and peppermint marshmallows.

So, don't let "healthy" food get you down, because if you aren't enjoying it, you aren't doing it right!

Motivation, what motivation? This girl has no motivation. It's much easier to believe that working out really hard will take care of all my bad eating habits. I'm 80% good, but when trying to lose weight, that isn't good enough. I've lost my motivation. Flat out have none.


How do people get their motivation back? I really want to run the Disney Princess Half, but not by myself. I'm trying to talk my boss into doing it because her sister wants her to do it too. Then, I would have to train for something AND I would have to work at losing weight because who wants to carry all that weight around.


I just wish I could get some freaking motivation back. I did so flipping great when I started it and now, slacking hard. I just need to focus on all the reasons I want and need to lose weight and the fact that I don't want to look back in regret because I've been slacking.

Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world’s waking up
All the city buses swimming past
I’m happy just because
I found out I am really no one
(Lyric from At The Bottom of Everything by Bright Eyes)


Sometimes losing weight is really easy, but most of the time it is just plain hard. To constantly have to worry about what I eat, whether I can "treat" myself today, anxiety on whether I'm going to lose even though I've been perfect. It's like constant stress about something that I'm supposed to be able to control but if it were that easy, I would be thin.

These past few weeks have been Baaaaad. I've been a total Weight Watcher failure. I've lost my motiviation and my will power. It is so much easier to just say "Okay, sure I'll have that milkshake!" "Peanut Butter Cups are my best friend" "Fried food is okay if you eat it on lettuce, right?"

Additionally, exercise has flown out the window. I need to run again. I need to have a date with Georges St. Pierre again.

I know, I need to stop being ridiculous.
I just need to remember that I need to stop wasting my life being uncomfortable in my own skin. Because as much as that milkshake *may* taste better then skinny feels, nothing feels better then truly being happy with who I am. I need to get my head back in the game.

Hopefully confessing my super sucktasticness will help hold me accountable to eat healthier starting my next meal. Because I know that when I eat right, a couple of things go right:
1, I feel better
2. My skin looks better
3. I have more confidence
4. I have better energy
5. I'm all around happier

So, help hold me accountable. Just give me *the look* if you see me eating something crazy. Especially if it looks like something that could be on thisiswhyyourefat.com.

So, I had my first evening weigh in. I know that many people tend to eat less or lighter so that they will weigh less, but, I figure I should just keep it constant and so I ate normally.

Between eating normally, wearing my (not so light) work clothes and changing both my weigh in time and date, I gained 3 pounds.

The horror! Gaining so much, right?

Sure, if you only want to look at the numbers, but let's look at something else:

My mind is in the right place. I have my menu plan, I've followed it and tracked it. I'm getting in all my fruits, vegetables, water, oils, vitamins and dairy in, along with some yummy lean protein.

I'm getting in exercise. Between walking/jogging, GSP Rush Fit, Zumba and Clogging, I am getting a variety of workouts in. For the most part, I'm actually enjoying most of them.

Regardless of what my weight is, I am slowly shrinking. Clothing is the clearest indicator that this is working. I've had to buy smaller clothes, securely moving down in sizes, which is AMAZING. I was given some cute clothes by a coworker and half of them fit and the other half are just a tiny bit away from fitting.

So, I gained three pounds (most of it from the food I ate today), but I've also gained some awesome peace of mind, love of exercise and part of a new wardrobe.

"Being happy doesn't always mean that everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

A person's day to day happiness is 100% something that can be controlled. I've met homeless people with an awesome outlook on life because they don't let their situation get them down. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've seen someone that has it "all" but be so consumed by what makes them less then perfect that they get no enjoyment out of life.

Every day, when I roll out of bed, I have a decision to make "Is this going to be a great day?" And, 9 days out of 10, it is a great day because my perspective makes it that way. Instead of seeing everything negative in my life, I choose to see all the ways I've been blessed.

Perhaps the best thing that ever happened to me was being told "You're really negative" Because at first, it really annoyed me and then I realized that if I didn't want to be that negative person, only I could change it. Denying my negativity wouldn't change anything, only accepting it and wanting to be a more positive person would help me change.

My perspective today was that I was going to have a great and healthy date. I made myself look forward to my work out. I couldn't wait to enjoy my food. I had the report from hell to do, but hey it made my day fly by. Why get bogged down by the fact that the report was never ending? Why let the thought of posting 69 payments in less than an hour stress me out? Why get so bent out of shape out of things that don't matter in the long run?

And tomorrow... I cannot wait to get some sort of run in. This girl is super excited to get super sweaty and gross, enjoy a new breakfast and drink lots of water. I can't wait to update the most tedious spreadsheet because it means I have a job. I can't wait to get some sleep tonight and curl up in my bed, next to my husband and snuggle him.

None of these are big amazing things, but I can't wait to enjoy them. So, what in your life have you overlooked as amazing?

The past few weeks of eating have been nothing short of scandalous and atrocious. Although my weight has continued on a downward spiral, it has been more to do with activity then it does my food choices. Freaking Easter candy got to me. (But I have a plan for that, which will be enacted tomorrow)

But, today I told Joseph "I'm ready to get back to counting points." I think this happens to most people who do Weight Watchers. For a few weeks/months/whatever, you have total and complete focus and then for a week or two (sometimes months, but hopefully not!) you just need to stop caring. That has been me to a "T"

I've written out my menu plan, including snacks and have the corresponding grocery list to go with it. Additionally, I cleaned out my fridge tonight. I mean, this has been a chore I have been avoiding for weeks. You know how it is, it slowly starts geting worse and worse until you realize you have reached one of two poitns: 1. Clean it out or 2. Quickly open door, grab or put away what you need and close the door without actually looking in it.

So, tonight, everything came out of the fridge. A good deal of it was thrown away, expired or gone bad, the shelves were sprayed and wiped down and I refilled the fridge with what was left. It is sad how bare our fridge is, but at the same time, it is going to be really nice to fill it up with delicious and healthy food tomorrow after we go grocery shopping.

We threw out the old, to make way for the healthy. There is something therapuetic and nice about having a clean fridge full of foods that you *know* will make your body better. I'm also ridiculously excited about the meal plan. Mom and I invested in e-mealz (Jasmine, I'm sending you a sample menu plan and more info because I think you might be interested) and it really does lower my grocery bill and make it very easy to menu plan. Additionally, although I enjoy their Publix for 2 people and they don't necessarily make it low fat, they do include a fruit or vegetable (most of the time both) with each meal and it isn't too hard to make it a healthier meal.

This week we are enjoying:
Tacos with caramalized/fried bananas
Chicken Enchilada Casserole w/ a side salad
Mozzarella Stuffed Flank Steak w/ Mashed potatoes and a side salad
Loaded Baked Potatoes w/ Roasted Asparagus & salad
*Side notes: they did not list side salad for all their meals, but I changed it to something easier for us They also include another meal but we normally only need 4 meals during the week since we eat at my mom's once a week. Also this is the Publix for 2, but it actually makes 4 servings which means we have leftovers for lunch the next day*

I started Rush Fit last Wednesday. The basic premise was do a dvd one day and cardio the next.

The cardio during the week was clogging, C25K W4D1, Touch Football and Zumba. The DVDs were Strength & Endurance, Abdominal & Core, *Bonus* Stretch and Fight Conditioning. Everything was accomplished except for Fight Conditioning. It was planned for Easter and, well, after two Easter Dinner's and some Touch Football, it just didn't seem that important to do a DVD.

The plan was to do the DVD tonight, but that didn't happen. I appear to be in super witchy, total brat mode and I just want to veg out on the couch and watch Eclipse (who else thinks Edward is creepy, possessive and controlling?) and eat way too many mini Reese Eggs (Working out tomorrow is NOT an option)

All in all, I'm very proud of my working out over the past week. I was active 6 out of 7 days. That's phenomenal for me.

Tomorrow starts Week 2 of GSP Rush Fit. I'm really looking forward to it.

I obviously did not get to the body I did, because I enjoyed working out. In fact, working out used to be the BIGGEST chore possible. I hated cardio, I hated weights and I really hated overly happy workout coaches. I would try and get into an activity only to have it last two times and then I'd stop because I didn't enjoy it.

So, how did I become the working out lover that I did? Simple:

1. Find an activity you love
I discovered Zumba! I love dancing. I have done some sort of dancing since I was 6 or 7, so I really love dancing. Any sort of dance moves with music, especially in a group setting is just a fun time for me. I can't wait to go to my Zumba class because I truly enjoy it.

2. Start out slow
Too often, people give up on an activity because they start out doing it full blast, they can't finish it and give up because it is too hard. I want to love running, but if I go out there and try to run a mile I am only going to get discouraged. So, instead I am working on Couch to 5K which slowly moves me from running 1 minute at a time to a whole 5k. Each time I do a harder run I feel so powerful and proud of myself that I don't want to give up.

3. Don't workout alone
I do Zumba with my best friend, I walk 3 days a week with a friend at work and I do GSP with my husband. Zumba is one time a week when I know I get to see and hang out with my best friend, therefore, not only do I look forward to seeing my best friend, but I look forward to doing Zumba with her. I enjoy walking with my coworker because not only is she an awesome person but I inspire her (how awesome is THAT?!). And, when do I not love getting more fit with my husband. I've made working out into hanging out time and that really makes it so much easier to start working out.

4. Track your workouts
There is something ridiculously enjoyable about seeing how much more working out I do from week to week. Weight Watchers keep track of "Activity Points". I've gone from earning 0 to earning 40+ a week. That's crazy. Each week, I want to do the same as the last week if not more. It is like a challenge to myself and I don't like letting myself down.

Eventually you wll become crazy and actually start to love working out like I did.

When I first told Joseph in November that I wanted to join Weight Watchers (again) he was supportive but he was reluctant having seen me do the same weight loss tango over and over again. However, their Points + Plan is seriously the easiest thing ever and quickly jumped on board.

Joseph, although not the happiest with himself, didn't want to change anything. He didn't want to really start working out, he wasn't really interested in watching what he ate, he was happy with being complacent. But, when the primary food preparer starts caring about what they eat, it just so happens that the other people who eat the food are going to have some rather "trim" side effects.

It was only a month later when Joe jumped on the being healthy boat and really got concerned with what he ate and his workouts. We have become partners in being healthy. We do some sort of activity together 5 out of the 7 days of the week, encourage healthy eating and are great will power support when one of us wants to totally pig out on sweets.

I have to say that Joseph has totally slimmed down. He looks amazing but, even better is how him slimming down and being healthy has made him a more confident and happy person.

I fully believe that if you care about your health, then doing what you can to be healthier will make you a more complete person and I think Joseph has become the perfect example of that. I am so fully proud of him, his weight loss, his exercise habits and his continuing support of me.

As with most people who have struggled with losing weight, I've tried quite a few eating plans and diets. I've enjoyed trying out a variety of "lifestyles" but what I don't enjoy is the snobbery that comes with it.

I understand being excited about a new "lifestyle". I understand wanting to share this newfound "lifestyle" with everyone. What I don't understand is the belittling of people who don't agree with the lifestyle or follow it. There is a blog I've read since I dipped my toe into the Primal Lifestyle (highly enjoyed but not livable for me), and it has slowly evolved from a place where you can go to learn new information and support to a blog that only spouts how Primal is the only way to go and if you don't do it, you are an obvious idiot.

Nothing aggervates me more then this sort of holier than thou, I have all the answers, attitude. Because as great as the science is behind the Primal lifestyle, if you can't fit it into your life, it isn't the way to go. And that goes for any sort of diet or healthy living lifestyle. I absolutely loved when I went Primal, but it was too hard to go out to eat, it was too hard to have carbs and sugar cut out of my diet. It wasn't a "cut back on it", but absolutely not supposed to eat it. My sister does the Primal thing and it works for her and that is great, but she doesn't try to shove down my throat how it is the only way.

I, personally, right now am enjoying Weight Watcher's Point Plus Program. It is super easy, allows me to eat whatever I want and is truly helping me become a healthier person, but I don't look down upon my coworker who does Nutrisystem, not if it works for them and makes them happy. Because the real point to a healthy lifestyle is to BE ABLE to make it your lifestyle.

And I do want to stress, this is *not* a rant against the Primal lifestyle, it was just my best example. There is a Vegan blog that I love because she shares her lifestyle in an open way and not in a close minded way Peasandthankyou.com. There is another Vegeterian blog that I read because she shares awesome recipes that don't contain meat, but she doesn't make it seem like a crime to eat meat veggiebyseason.com. These are two great examples of eating lifestyle blogs that share without preaching.

Georges and I had our first date today.

I did GSP Rush Fit Strength & Endurance today. The warm up was awesome. It incorporated a lot of hard moves but in a way that made them seem doable. Georges was really concerned with making sure that I wasn't pushing myself too hard and having a great time. He was truly being a great date.

And then he made me do pushups.
And burpees.
And side planks.
And I told him we needed to "talk".

That sort of behavior was unacceptable, clearly. He wasn't concerned at all about my feelings or how I feel or what *I* wanted.

Then before we had a chance to talk, he wised up. And we did some standing up moves; lunges, squats twists. It was then that I thought, he might really love me.

And then, we took it back to the ground for a core workout. But, once again he redeemed himself just in time with some nice stretches and a cool down.

So, I think we are going to keep this up and see how it turns out. Perhaps we will make a great couple after all.

So, Georges St. Pierre, one of the best fighters in the UFC and some would say (as in Me) most handsome has his own exercise dvd workout.

When you lose weight, it's hard to see yourself objectively. No matter how much the scale goes down, or clothes get too big, or how many activities get easier to do, sometimes all a person wants is to see results. And honestly, when you change little by little every day, it is hard to notice. I look in the mirror and I see the same thing every day, the same flaws, the same scars, the same shape. And as much as I'm doing this because I want to be a healthier person, and I want to be healthy when I have kids and I want to share with other people how being a healthier person cannot only be fun but tasty, sometimes I just want to *see* the change in myself.

Sometimes, I want to be able to look in the mirror and see that I'm slimmer or more toned but I can't. I mean, occasionally I feel slimmer but I don't see it, I literally can't see a change. I still just look like me. In a weird way, as I've lost weight, I've become more vain about how I look and I've put more effort into my look because the better I feel about how I look, the more I work at it.

In the past two days, I've gotten separate compliments from people who hadn't seen me for a good while. "Wow, you look great, like a whole other person." It makes me wish I could see some of my friends less, because it is such a motivator to know that the changes I continue to make in my life are resulting in a noticeable change, even if I don't see it and it is a great push to keep me going until I *can* see the change in myself.

After a week of eating a little crazy; fried foods, ice cream, sugary drinks, and desserts, my body was ready to get back to "normal" eating. In the past 4 months my "normal" eating has become fresh veggies and fruits, lean meats, water, water and more water. It has been healthier, more whole and natural foods with a real emphasis to try and stay away from fried foods, high calorie foods and high processed foods.

It's amazing how satisfying a salad with grilled chicken can be when your body is craving greens. Spring and summer are the ultimate in light veggie dishes and Joseph proved it last night when he made me Skinny Taste Pasta Shells w/ Asparagus and Marinara. And let me tell you, to hear him say "We don't need chicken with this, it is going to be great on its own" is a miracle. If this were a year earlier and I suggested a meatless meal he would have looked at me like I was crazy.

There is just something about the warmer months that has me wanting to indulge in fruits and veggies, meals that don't involve a lot of cooking or a lot of work. Salads have become my best friend, especially since I've been experimenting with making my own salad dressings. That helped me discover my love of Red Wine Vinegar. I've been hunting around for a herb growing kit because I really want fresh herbs. I'm craving fresh and natural foods and at this point, I would rather choose a nice fresh salad over a delicious cheeseburger.

And with that said, tomorrow night we are having hot dogs for dinner. The things I do for my awesome husband.

When you workout in a gym, on a treadmill, there are no worries that you will go so far that won't make it back to the start. When that gym is taken away from you and you have to go into the real world to work out, there is no guarantee.

Joseph today wanted to walk from work to Walmart and back again. That is 1 1/2 miles *one* way, 3 total. I told him I would only walk for peanut butter cups but in reality I was wondering what I was going to do if I couldn't make it. I mean, since working on being fit and getting healthy, the farthest I have gone is 2 miles. I know without a doubt that 20 pounds and two months of not working out ago, I probably wouldn't have done it, and especially not how well I did it. There were some hills, changes in terrain and a mixture of super cold wind and hot sun. Not only did I walk all 3 miles, and get my peanut butter cups, but I did it like it was nothing.

I wouldn't have known I could do that until I got rid of the safety net. Slowly and surely, I'm having to remove these safety nets I've placed around myself to keep stuff from being too hard, too challenging or too intimidating.

I went and Zumba'd with my best friend Sarah on Monday night. It was a huge group class with women of all shapes, sizes and skill levels. Normally I would be so concerned with how I look to everyone else to have fun; but that wasn't the case. I just worried about having fun and getting my burn on and I did have fun. I removed the safety net of worrying what other people thought of me and had a great experience.

At the end of May, I'm removing a huge safety net. I like to call it my "Crazy" safety net. Because it is what keeps me from doing stupid crazy stuff. Well, end of May, I'm participating in the Warrior Dash. That is a 5K (3.1 miles) with obstacles, including: running through fire, climing a cargo net, running through tires and wading through water. There are parts of this race that really worry me. Am I strong enough? Will I fall face first into the fire? Will I fall and die at the cargo net? But, I'm removing the safety net because it will only make me a better, well rounded person and I will be so amazed with myself when I finish it.

It helps that my sis-in-law has promised to stay by my side.

So, I started working out in January. It was really easy for me to make myself go because the building I work in has a gym and I would go during lunch. I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would just look like crap the second half of the day and I was alright with that because as sweaty as I got, I knew I was getting more fit.

Then I got a hip injury. This threw my C25K dreams out the window.

More bad news this week: The gym at my work is closed for the next 5 weeks. No treadmill, no elliptical, no floor space to Zumba. No place to work out.

Now, my work out buddies Dani, Joseph (my husband) and Karley have decided we will go out and walk at least twice a week in the neighborhood behind our work that has huge, mountainous hills. However, that still leaves me with at least 3-4 days where I have to push myself to work out, after work and at home.

Sheesh.

I guess it is time for me to put my money where my mouth is and prove to myself that I can work out, I can push myself to do it and I'm stronger than the excuse I make. I have workout dvd's galore. Zumba, Yoga, Flirty Girl AND Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and Yoga Meltdown.

Today I did Yoga Meltdown. Wow, does Jillian know how to kick a girls butt. I mean, I was totally resisting the work out at first. It was brand new to me, I hadn't done yoga in years and I knew Jillian would make me hurt. And she did. She made me sweat, hurt and my limbs *shake*.

When it was done I felt strong, lean, tall and powerful. I felt accomplished and amazing and I was happy. Some where in this whole journey I have fallen in love with working out and knowing that I am bettering my body. So, I need to hold on to that feeling, that awesome feeling and help it push me to work out. Tomorrow I think I'm going to 30 Day Shred. Thursday it is more walking on mountainous hills and Friday is probably going to be a great day of rest. I will have worked out 4 days in a row without a gym.

Let's see if I do it. I believe I can and I know I can. Because, after I finish, I'm going to feel amazing and know that I pushed my body harder than today or the day before or the week before.

If you look to the left, you will see a list of blogs that encourage me on a daily basis to eat healthy, work out and be an all around healthier person. Each person listed is beautiful in their own way, not just physically but from the inside out. Without the aid of these blogs, family and friends and the 20's board on Weight Watchers I'm not sure I would be as successful as I have been. It's helpful to connect with people who know the struggles I face every day, know how I feel and show me that it can be done.

Something I never expected when I started this blog, was that I would be an encouragement to other people. Sporadically in the past month or so, I've had people tell me that they like my blog, or I encourage them to be healthier or the things I write are inspiring.

Wow.

I'm not sure if there is any greater compliment I could receive in regards to the work I put into this blog and into the changes I'm making in myself. All of a sudden the fact that I rarely get comments on the blog don't matter because someone has taken time out of their day to let me know that I've made a difference. I never, ever expected that and every time I hear it, it makes a real difference to me; it touches me. It's been really hard for me lately, having a bum hip and not knowing how to work out, but I still got encouragement from a co-worker today to keep it up.

So, to anyone who has said anything to me about this blog or the changes I've made in my life, and to those who haven't but still get something out of my posts: THANK YOU for taking the time to read, to comment, and to encourage me. It means a lot to hear and to know and it encourages me to continue to be healthy and a more well rounded person.

(Note to self: Stop watching Biggest Loser because it makes me WAY sappy)

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

I was told once in high school by a friend that I was a really negative person. I think on a sub-conscious level that really bothered me because over the years I know I've changed my outlook on life. I don't always have to try to be positive so much as it just happens. I try to find the silver lining to every storm cloud not just in my life but for my friends when they are having a hard time.

Life is far too short to spend it being negative or sad. Not to say that feeling that way on occasion is a bad thing. I mean, I'm a girl; I totally have those days where nothing goes right and I just want to curl up and go back to bed. But, life isn't about what goes wrong, it's about what you do to make it right.

Three months ago I was so unhappy with how I looked and felt and in a way I was okay with that feeling. I didn't care about what I ate, I didn't move, I didn't try to better myself at all.  My outlook was negative and it showed in how I thought about myself and my feelings towards other people. Who wants to be content wasting their twenties by being uncomfortable in their own skin and disliking everyone around them because of it?

December 1, 2010 I committed to a change. Some days it is really easy, I eat great and get in tons of fruits and vegetables and exercise and feel comfortable in my skin... I feel thinner and in power of myself. But, some days it is hard. Really hard. I don't like what they scale says, I want to gorge on chocolate, I feel like a working out failure and a running fraud and I absolutely hate how I look. But, those are the days when I have to remind myself that it's the process, the struggle, that is going to help me learn, succeed and better myself.

Because no matter what, I know I am getting healthier, stronger and smarter. Just sometimes, I have to remind myself over and over and over again. I'm not going to let being in the gutter keep me from admiring the stars.

So, on Sunday I completed week 3 of C25K. I don't know if you know, but you go from running 1.5 minutes and 3 minutes to running 3 minutes and 5 minutes in Week 4. Well, this girl was not ready for that change. Not only was I defeated before I even started, I had no belief in myself, my body was just tired. My hip *hurts*, my calf is sore. I could never get my running groove or my breathing.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with knowing when you aren't ready and I'm not ready to move on to week 4. I never felt confident in myself with week 3, not like I did with week 1 or 2, even with completing it outside. So, I'm going to stay on week 3 this week and revisit the idea of week 4 next week. There is just something about running 5 minutes in a row that is extremely daunting.

But, there is always a silver lining to every day! And today's silver lining is dinner! I made barbeque chicken, green beans (which didn't turn out, but I don't like fresh green beans anyways so I'm alright with it) and skinnytaste.com 's Mac and Cheese. I am practically a hobag for some homemade Mac and Cheese, it's probably my favorite food ever (Chocolate doesn't count since it is a whole food group). Joseph made me this for Valentine's Day and we knew instantly it was a winner, it even beat out the best of the best cooking light recipe in my opinion.

However, this deep love of mac and cheese that I have, it also keeps me from being able to portion it very well. As in, I want to eat all of it in one sitting. Just give me a huge bowl of mac and cheese  and I will devour that. But, tonight I got out my measuring cup, measured out a serving of mac and cheese for Joseph and Me and then portioned the rest out in containers so that I can't go back for seconds, thirds and fourths.

Seriously though, go make that mac and cheese. It is so delicious. And, while you are at it, check out her other recipes because they are ridiculously good.

I don't know when it became acceptable for my weekend to be consumed with watching television and playing video games, with little activity, even when we go visit people. That isn't living. I mean, it is really no wonder that I get so bored and restless during the week since I don't even take advantage of my time off to have fun, explore and live.

I want to explore our local parks and hike them and find out more about them. I want to play and hide and seek with my adult friends. It was so much fun when we were kids. What is it about being an adult that means we can stop having pure and simple fun? It seems like if it doesn't play on a screen of some sort, it can't be fun.

I want to move, every day whether it is "exercise" or just fun. I want to have a full, rich, adventurous, amazing life. I don't want to think back on my life and go "Oh yeah, that was a great show. What ever happened to it?" I want to think about everything I've seen and done, touch, tasted and felt. I want to think of the challenges I pushed myself to succeed and the things I've experienced.

I'm just tired of sitting around and letting my life pass me by. It's unacceptable, it's lazy and it's ridiculous. I've changed my mentality towards food, exercise and living so much in the past three months and this is something else I will change. Or else, I'm going to look back on my life and regret that I saw every episode of The Office but not thoroughly explored some of the great natural parks in my backyard.

Oh, and just a little moment of "look at me"... I've officially lost 21.4 pounds. In just 20 pounds I've managed to make real changes that I've embraced and love.

So, who's up for some Hide and Seek?